Tainted Love
by homicidalwombat
Summary: How beautiful, the human mind. How complicated, how intricate, how powerful. How easily breakable. How easy to hide. How easy to destroy. How easy to rebuild. How easy to trust, to lose, to find, to hurt, to heal, to kill, to save. Mylar drabbles.
1. Mohinder Fights

**Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes. If I did whiny Maya would have been killed with her stupid brother, and Mohinder and Sylar would TOTALLY be fucking. ALL THE TIME.**

**Warning: Contains blood, violence, abuse, sex. Don't say you weren't warned.**

_What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil._

_Nietzsche_

He would never know, he told himself, exactly why he loved the man so much. Sylar had hurt him so many times, and yet when Gabriel resurfaced Mohinder always found himself able to forgive his lover for the pain inflicted by his other personality. If Sylar was the Id, the base impulses and unappeasable urges of the dark psyche, then Gabriel was the Ego, desperately trying to control his more feral side.

Making love with Gabriel is sweet and soft and warm, full of caring and gentle touches, fingers brushing lightly over faces and tender caresses.

Sex with Sylar is rough and fast and painful, a rush of clashing teeth and sharp nails scraping into flesh, of cuts on wrists and bruises on legs and arms, of bodies slammed into walls and names screamed into the night in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

Making love with Gabriel is tentative and planned, careful and delicate and blushing a charming pink as kiss-swollen lips meet in encounters that taste of cinnamon and chai and lavender.

Sex with Sylar is sudden and wild, anywhere and anytime, teeth sinking into shoulders and necks, red blood staining lips and heads shoved back, hair yanked out by an angry and aggressive hand,

In the first, Mohinder finds himself smiling, panting softly, moaning as waves of pleasure wash over him. In the second, he finds himself with his eyes squeezed tightly shut, with gritted teeth and screams of mixed emotion.

After Sylar, Mohinder will collapse onto the floor, or the couch or the washing machine or his desk or wherever. He will be sticky and exhausted, and when he opens his eyes after a single eye-clearing blink the tall, pale man will be gone, and Mohinder will find himself tearing up.

After Gabriel they collapse together onto soft pillows, bodies streaked with sweat and limbs gripping tightly to each other as last soft passionate kisses are offered and taken. A pale arm curls around a golden side, fingers stroking the rising and falling chest. Black curls brush a stubbly cheek, and the two men will drift off together into a deep sleep.

Sometimes Gabriel will awaken in the middle of the night and Mohinder will roll over, flashing his lover a sleepy smile. But then the smile is replaced with a grim line and the half-lidded dream-sodden eyes will snap open as Mohinder recognizes that his gentle boyfriend is gone, replaced in the dark with the man who hurts him so much. And there in the night Sylar will take Mohinder, and Mohinder will be ashamed of the needy pleas that the angry man can rip from his lips. He will leave the Indian man with bruises between his thighs and tears drying on his cheeks, his eyes burning with shame.

In the morning Mohinder always wakes up first, stumbling to the bathroom to examine the previous night's damage. He slathers on the concealer, the foundation and the cover-up, hiding the wounds from view with a well-chosen sweater and too-big jeans that make the tripping look natural.

When Gabriel finds him making breakfast, he'll slide his arms round Mohinder's waist and nuzzle his cheek gently. Mohinder will smile and nuzzle back, and then the coffee will be done and Gabriel will leave for the day, leave to help the strangers in his shop.

Mohinder spends the day at home, tinkering with chemicals and formulas. He has created a remedy, a medicine that heals the wounds with super speed, so that when Gabriel comes home he is greeted at the door by his love, looking fresh and unbroken.

Gabriel never remembers Sylar's visits. He has only found the bruises once, when he had a day off work. Mohinder lied, and told him that he had been mugged. Gabriel forced him to go to the emergency room, where Mohinder faced suspicious stares when he vehemently refused a rape test.

"Did he do this to you?" The doctor had whispered, gesturing at Gabriel, who was waiting in the hallway, looking worried. Mohinder had shook his head and denied the claim.

Mohinder loved Gabriel, loved him from the bottom of his damaged heart. And as much as it shamed him, he loved Sylar too. Loved the pain, loved the abuse, loved the loathing. Loved the smiles, loved the comfort, loved the adoration.

But Mohinder was always scared. Always worried of what might happen, what could happen if Sylar went to far one night. What would happen to Gabriel is Sylar killed Mohinder? How would Gabriel feel waking up draped in blood-soaked sheets beside his lover? Would Gabriel blame himself? Would he go mad?

That was why Mohinder fought. Every night. He fought for his soul, he fought for his freedom.

But most of all he fought for his love.


	2. Gabriel Fights

**Authors Note: Hey, guess what? Even though I intended for this to be a oneshot, my friend challenges me to a prompt challenge, that I'm going to be writing here. This is the second part of the story I started last chapter, and after this I'll be starting on the prompts.**

**Warning: Sex, self-mutilation, angst**

_And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you._

_- Nietzsche_

Gabriel is always fighting Sylar. He knows that it's a losing battle, and that no matter how hard he tries he will always return, but he is learning. He is learning how to control him.

Him? Or himself? Gabriel has never truly been sure, not from the first moment Sylar emerged, when Gabriel was in his early teens, or when he really made himself known, after the meeting with Chandra Suresh.

Sylar is the voice inside his head, the angry urges to let go, to let the fear be replaced. At times Gabriel wants to give in, to let the darkness overwhelm him and let Sylar take over, but he knows he cannot give in fully.

He has to fight for Mohinder.

Mohinder doesn't know that Gabriel remembers the late night encounters with Sylar. He remembers them all too well, the images of tears flowing down Mohinder's face, those beautiful golden legs spread and viciously bruised. He screams himself, from inside his head, begging Sylar to let him out, to stop hurting him.

Gabriel loves Mohinder. Sylar loves to hurt Mohinder. Mohinder loves Gabriel, and Gabriel knows that in those moments in the dark when they are making love that Mohinder sometimes confuses the two. He will feel his lover's body tense when he kisses him too hard, or when he goes too fast. He comforts Mohinder then, stroking the black curls out of that beautiful face and planting a reassuring butterfly-soft kiss on the suddenly tear-stained cheek.

Mohinder will calm then, and the sound of his heartbeat in Gabriel's ears makes the watchmaker love him even more.

Gabriel wants to protect Mohinder. He would never, ever hurt him, he promises that every day. Mohinder makes him whole, gives him the strength and the reason to keep fighting. He wants nothing more than Sylar to die, to go away, to disappear, so that the two lovers can live a normal life.

At night Gabriel will cradle his lover in his arms, scared that at any moment Sylar may come out to play. He treasures the time when he is himself with Mohinder, and tries to make the most of it, because he knows that Mohinder is hiding the wounds. He doesn't want him to have to hide.

Tonight, Gabriel and Mohinder make love once more, sweet and passionate and desperate, neither really knowing why. As Mohinder collapses onto the sheets in a deep and exhausted sleep, Gabriel tries something new.

He plants a kiss on Mohinder's forehead and tucks the covers up around his body, not wanting him to get cold. He silently closes the door behind him and makes his way to the bathroom. He doesn't bother flicking on the lights, instead clicking the lock shut and sliding to the floor as he feels Sylar begin fighting to get out.

After a few moments of struggling he gives in, lets the beast out of his cage. As Gabriel retreats to the dark corer of his mind, Sylar pounds at the door, cursing his annoyance. Gabriel ahs locked them in. Sylar will not be getting at Mohinder tonight.

Gabriel's only fear is that Mohinder won't understand why he left him. He has never done so before, and the thought of Mohinder losing his trust, believing that Gabriel no longer loves him… it's almost too much for the watchmaker to bear.

Gabriel pushes these thoughts away and waits, counting down the hours until the dawn.

In the morning Gabriel awakes to a crash outside the bathroom door. He blinks blearily and is suddenly aware of a dried, dark red substance covering his face and arms and chest and legs. It is sticky, and for a moment he is terrified that Sylar managed to get out of the bathroom and killed Mohinder.

The door crashes open and Gabriel sees Mohinder in the doorway, looking terrified. At the sight of his lover on the floor, the Indian gasps, sinking to his knees and wrapping his arms around the pale man covered in steadily drying blood.

Blood from his own body… Sylar must have been scratching himself all night long.

Gabriel feels a tear on his shoulder and wraps his arms around Mohinder's waist. Mohinder looks up at his face and bursts into tears again.

"You were trying to stop him", Mohinder sobs, and Gabriel knows that he understands.

They will continue to fight the demons, as the days and weeks and months go by, and maybe, Gabriel finds himself hoping, just maybe they'll get rid of Sylar once and for all, and Gabriel's dream of happily ever after can come true.

But for now, with a sense of renewed hope and blood drying on his body, he joins Mohinder, and they cry.

Together.


End file.
